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Who Are You Really Fighting with During COVID-19?

It’s been a rough week. The walls are closing in and you’re ready to “pick a fight.” This may show up as a light skirmish with your spouse or that weird neighbor across the street. Other times it may show up as that nagging comment or a quick insult to your child.
Does this sound like you? If so, you may need to ask yourself who are fighting with. At first glance, you may feel powerful by “picking a safe fight” with loved ones. But realistically, these quick outbursts may be illustrating to you that you are fighting with yourself. In other words, you may be looking to pick a fight with your past, present, or future self. No, I’m not talking about time travel. I’m talking about dealing with the fact that you are navigating through a difficult time with no easy answers.

Who Are You Really Picking a Fight With?

Your Past Self

Past Trauma
In the lockdown, you may be tired of looking in the mirror. But the mirror may be telling you something about your past. As you “pick a fight,” your mind may be searching for a way to deal with past trauma. A trauma that made you feel powerless in handling this Pandemic.
Possible Solution
Often times our past traumas can carry some weight on our present life. A good solution to overcoming these feelings would be to focus on our past successes. What success have you had in your life that made you feel good about your accomplishment. These successes could be a way to help create a series of positive reference points that assist you in handling your current crisis. Start by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Visualize that success. How did it make you feel? Let that absorb through your body. Take a deep breath and do it again.

Let's Delve Into Our Present-Day Self.

Our Changing Times
Throughout our lives we have experienced change. During COVID-19 that feeling of change really shouldn’t be any different, other than we are more forced to change. However, if you remember you have been forced to change in the past. You may have had children, which would have led to a drastic change to your social life. If you are one that does have children, it was something you faced and overcame. Still for others of us, this vast amount of change may have been something you have never experienced and make you feel powerless and may foster feelings of “picking a fight” to feel powerful.
Possible Solution
Change is an evitable process of life, and bluntly it is better to embrace the change. Try considering a time in your life where you had to make a big change. It could be as simple as becoming old enough to do the dishes. You didn’t want to do the dishes, but eventually you embraced the fact it was your task to complete and did it anyways. And, possibly after a couple stomps on the floor. If you think about it, change is what has carried humanity forward and this is not civilizations first pandemic. The earths history has been riddled with them. The positive to this change is that is has always brought on a new era that has presented us with a series of tools that propelled humanity forward. Embracing the change is taking charge of your life. If you have children, you might help your family embrace it as well by learning more about our next industrial era. Such as, learning a new language, taking a course on virtual reality, or meeting a robot for the first time.

Your Future Self

A Wrench In Your Plans
COVID may have thrown a huge wrench into your future plans. As a result, you may be asking yourself, “What am I going to do now”? Rather than talking to a professional or a friend about this new vulnerability, you may choose to “pick a fight” to avoid the real conversation.
Possible Solution
A possible solution could be to be honest with yourself about the future. If you’re feeling this pain, your family members are most likely experiencing it as well. This may be a fun time for a vision-building party with your family. As a result, you may find things out about each other, understand each other’s goals, and build new family goals.

The COVID-19 Pandemic was a shock to everyone. As you navigate in this uncharted territory, it is important to realize that you can choose alternatives to “picking a fight.”

Start by asking, who are you really trying to pick a fight with. As you move forward, it is important to remember that you are not the only one in this and often there are little ones watching. In review, I have simplified the concepts from above in a chronological list.
1. Actively remember your past successes to build faith for today’s pandemic. You will succeed again.
2. Become more accepting of change. Remember you have been doing it your whole life.
3. Have a vision-building party, talk to friends, or possibly see a professional.
Written by Todd Brinkman
Founder: Virtual Reality for Main Street.
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